I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
