We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
