went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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