Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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