The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
