im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His nipple licking is glorious
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