I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
