It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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