69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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