I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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