I just made out with a guy for $7.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Blood and glitter go together right?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
