I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
