I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
