Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
