I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize