so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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