I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I want a musical about memes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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