Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
