New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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