Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
