I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize