No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
