We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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