How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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