haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
