my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
