i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
