Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
