maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
