You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize