the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
