Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
