I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My vagina is officially offended.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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