Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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