"it" just moved
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
