Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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