I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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