Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
