you would pick up someone in the library
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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