I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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