I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
