i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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