Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
