Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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