I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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