I didn't shave. On purpose
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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