she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
