can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
