I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize