Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize