dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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