By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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