man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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