she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That accounts for only three of the penises
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
