we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
