so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
