Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
