We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
