My room smells like vodka and shame
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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