we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
