You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
