I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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