hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
