Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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