with your own penis?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
YAS. BRING CRAB.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
