I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
