Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
