He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
