awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
