Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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