The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Welp...herpes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
