PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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