I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
