no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
