i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize