Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
there is puke in my bra ... again
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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