Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
