she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize