Fuck appropriateness.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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