I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
